Saturday, November 20, 2010

Quote of the Day: Jonathan Swift

"When you think of the world give it one lash the more at my request. I have ever hated all nations, professions, and communities, and all my love is towards individuals: for instance, I hate the tribe of lawyers, but I love Counsellor Such-a-one, and Judge Such-a-one . . . . But principally I hate and detest that animal called man, although I heartily love John, Peter, Thomas, and so forth. This is the system upon which I have governed myself many years, but do not tell.”

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I had an epiphany the other day while I was walking to lunch with a friend

We were accosted by a blind homeless man who asked us where the DMV was. ("You know, the place where you get your licensed renewed?" is a direct quote.) After we decided we weren't on some kind of hidden camera show, we gave him directions and went on our way. We were kind enough not to point out that he was standing right next to a sign pointing the way.

Afterwards, I realized that this homeless man was you, dear reader -lost and confused and left to your own devices in the cold, cold world. Sorry for not blogging more and gracing you with my pearls of wisdom. I promise that I will be more faithful starting next week. I may post something more substantial tomorrow if I have time.

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Well, it's official. Everybody at my new job thinks I am insane because I lost 185 LBS, get up at 3:30 AM, walk four miles everyday, and read books while I walk. (They seemed more concerned about the potential health hazards of my book-light innovation than impressed by my ingenuity.) They also know I rule on the phones but I fear that information will be lost underneath all this intensity that smaller minds mistake for insanity/OCD. I am not sure how they got all this information out of me but they did.

One time in high school this crazy kid who wanted to beat me up for making wisecracks in his general direction told me, "Someday you'll learn to shut that big mouth of yours." Guess he was wrong.

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Anyway, that's all for tonight. I do have a couple decent posts coming up so stay tuned.