"Things seem to tend downward, to justify despondency, to promote rogues, to defeat the just; and by knaves as by martyrs the just cause is carried forward. Although knaves win in every political struggle, although society seems to be delivered over from the hands of one set of criminals into the hands of another set of criminals, as fast as the government is changed, and the march of civilization is a train of felonies,- yet, general ends are somehow answered. We see, now, events forced on which seem to retard or retrograde the civility of ages. But the world-spirit is a good swimmer, and storms and waves cannot drown him. He snaps his finger at laws: and so, throughout history, heaven seems to affect low and poor means. Through the years and the centuries, through evil agents, through toys and atoms, a great and beneficent tendency irresistibly streams.
Let a man learn to look for the permanent in the mutable and fleeting; let him learn to bear the disappearance of things he was wont to reverence without losing his reverence; let him learn that he is here, not to work but to be worked upon; and that, though abyss open under abyss, and opinion displace opinion, all are at last contained in the Eternal Cause:-If my bark sink, ’tis to another sea."I am very bored today because it is Good Friday and since I cover the East Coast where people - as a general rule - have a stronger culture connection to their ancestral religions there is no one to talk to since all my prospects are taking the day off. I guess I could always talk to my co-workers but I've been there done that. I wish I could say I was going to use the extra time to write the blog post to end all blog posts and change your life but that would be a lie. Instead, I am going to deconstruct that classic paean to paternal guilt by singer-songwriter Harry
Chapin "Cats in the Cradle."
Don't pretend you haven't heard this song a million times and cried a little bit each time you did. Yesterday, I finally pinpointed what's always bothered me about it's lyrical scheme other than it's cheap sentimentality and saccharine nature. (Okay, it's not that bad of a song. Maybe I am just bitter because this song was never the same for me as far as coolness goes once I learned that the kid's dad was not, in fact, an astronaut.)
Let's read the lyrics together, shall we?
My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then
My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then
Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then
I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"
And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then
So the whole point of the song is supposed to be that the dad realizes that the neglect of his son who always wanted to be like him made him just like the dad in a bad way, particularly in his relationships to other people. I think the dad is wrong.
Throughout the whole song the dad put his own selfish needs above the needs of his son at every turn. Is that really the kind of choice the son makes at the end? I would argue no because staying home to be with his sick kids is not selfish. Selfish would be leaving your sick kids. Now, the son may be emotionally estranged from the father but that is a completely different issue.
Now, if we wanted to have some real fun we could argue that the father is an unreliable narrator in the postmodern tradition. Heck, we could even argue that the son is just a figment of the father's imagination. We could but that would be expanding too much mental energy on a folksy 70's pop song.
