Quote of the Day: William Blake

"The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom; for we never know what is enough until we know what is more than enough."


You can say lots of things about me. You can say I am too mean to my fellow man, annoying at times, pretentious, and not half as clever as I think I am and you may even be right; but one thing you can't say about me, is that I don't know how to eat. Trust me, I do. I didn't get to be 408lbs without developing a few skills when it comes to the art of gluttony. However, losing a 180lbs in the past year has necessitated that I let some of those skills atrophy and I was fairly content doing that until I met a restaurant in Boise, Idaho called Big Jud's. It is famous for its one-pound hamburgers and hamburgers happen to be my favorite food in the world. When I heard of the Big Jud's challenge, which involves eating a one-pound hamburger and more than a pound of fries in less than an hour, I knew I had found a worthy opponent.

So like a safecracker coming out of retirement to pull off one more heist or a gunslinger coming out of retirement to face down the town bully, I took the challenge. I managed to eat everything in twenty minutes. People were shocked. I think Stacey and her parents were a little scared at how it didn't even faze me or make me feel even the tiniest bit uncomfortable. I could have eaten more although I am not sure I could have handled the quadruple like the guy with his picture on the wall did. I am sure all the teenagers there who weren't man enough to handle it hated me. What a bunch of amateurs. So if you ever go to Big Jud's in Boise be sure to check out my picture on the wall. I'm the guy in the snazzy orange shirt looking out triumphantly at the world like he's won the Nobel Peace Prize.

In case, you're curious I am back to eating healthy with the fervor of a chastened drunk.

Please enjoy the time-lapsed slide show below commemorating my victory.