Quote of the day: Henry David Thoreau

“I say, beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.”


It's been a while since I've blogged. What can I say? I've been lazy. I don't have much time today so this short USA Today version will have to suffice.

I start my new job today and I am surprisingly nervous. I really hope I didn't oversell myself during my interviews.

Last week was not our best week. I got my gallbladder taken out and my wife threw her back out so my mother had to come over and help the only childless couple in the family do basic things like walk. Yeah, we were pretty pathetic. My mom even had to take me shopping.

I learned some things last week.

I learned don't like being on Opiate-based painkillers. It turns out I value being able to think clearly more than I value not feeling pain. (I am sure there is a life lesson in there somewhere.) I did like the stuff they gave me at the hospital that made me ask Stacey why I was levitating.

I learned that nurses have senses of humor and doctors don't.

A nurse apologized for poking me three times trying to get my IV in and I said, "That's all right. Now I won't have to cut myself when I get home."

One of the abuse screening questions they have to ask everyone is, "Has anyone prevented you from doing the things you wanted to?" I said, "Yes, last week I wanted something really greasy and my wife wouldn't let me. Do you consider that abuse?"

When they asked me if I had any heart problems in the past I said, "One time this girl broke my heart. I healed but there may be a scar."

The nurses all laughed at my jokes and the doctors never laughed at a single one. It kind of hurt my feelings and made me mad because I am sure I am paying the doctors more.

Well, I am off to work. Boy, the first day of work sure is stressful. I laid awake last night wondering if the cool kids were going to let me sit by them at lunch. We will see.