Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Quote of the Day: George Orwell

"There are some ideas so wrong that only a very intelligent person could believe in them."

I swear I will write a decent post some time this week.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Quote of the Day: Thomas Browne

“Unthinking Heads, who have not learn'd to be alone, are in a Prison to themselves, if they be not also with others: Whereas on the contrary, they whose thoughts are in a fair, and hurry within, are sometimes fain to retire into Company, to be out of the crowd of themselves. He who must needs have Company, must needs have sometimes bad Company. Be able to be alone. Loose not the advantage of Solitude, and the Society of thy self, nor be only content, but delight to be alone and single with Omnipresency. He who is thus prepared, the Day is not uneasy nor the Night black unto him…”


I am taking another sick day.

In the meantime, please enjoy this watermelon art.
http://www.wimp.com/carveswatermelon/

Monday, June 28, 2010

Quote of the Day: Oscar Wilde

“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.”


I don't know why but I am feeling kind of sick so I am calling it a day. Maybe I am just tired from putting a table together this weekend like a real man. Sure, it was a pre-made one from Fred Meyer with only three steps required for assembly, but screws were involved so I think it counts.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Quote of the Day: Samuel Johnson

"Yet it is necessary to hope, though hope should always be deluded, for hope itself is happiness, and its frustrations, however frequent, are yet less dreadful than its extinction."


The week is almost over and I have big plans this weekend that involve doing nothing because I haven't done that in over a month and a half. I'm pretty sure I'll be forced to put on pants sometime but I can't guarantee they won't be of the sweat variety.


This has been a tough week to get through on the professional side of life. There have been some pretty brutal rejections by key prospects. Oh well, I guess that's the nature of the sales game and why so few people play it. This is the first week in a long time I haven't felt overpaid although I am not sure how much of that is due to a tough week and how much is due to knowing I have a mortgage payment eternally hanging over my head. This is also the first week in a month where I was here in the office for all five days so that may have something to do with it as well.


I have huge blisters on my feet. Maybe doubling my daily walking routine to 4 miles a day was a less than intelligent move.


Maybe being the in the middle of a very dated novel by a committed Marxist has made me super-sensitive to such things (I have a compulsion that requires me to finish everything I start reading.) but I suspect my 3 year-old cousin has been reading Karl Marx. Yesterday when he saw our loose change jar sitting on the counter, he asked, "Did you and Stacey stealed the money from the peoples?"

"What peoples?"

"All the peoples of the world."

He later asked me why they paid me to go to work. Trust me, I've asked myself that same questions many times this week.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Quote of the Day: Mignon McLaughlin

"No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why."


I just had the worst sales call of my life. It started out with the prospect saying, "Why the Hell would I do that?" to my request of setting up a later conference call.

Here are a few things he said throughout the rest of the call:

"Who the hell are you?"

"I don't care what my peers are doing. I have better metrics than 90% of my peers." (A complete and total lie.)

"We've solved that problem." (I know this is a lie because this is a problem Obama talks about almost weekly.)

"Your headset is too loud. A communications company that can't even buy decent headsets? Boy, that's reassuring."

"You can send an email but I'll just delete it."

"I want you to know that you provide a very very low quality sales call." (Believe it or not, I am actually fairly successful at my job.)

The worst part was that I couldn't get smart with him like I wanted to because he is a very important contact. I did email the CEO of his company so we'll see what happens.

PS
I kind of need a hug.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Quote of the Day: E. M. Cioran

"Life inspires more dread than death - it is life which is the great unknown."


It is official. The security guards at my building are now completely worthless.

Here is a representative exchange I had once with the creepy little toad-like individual I pass every morning:

"Hey, I forgot my key card. Can you let me up?" (I have to use it at three different places to get in every morning so forgetting it was a dumb move on my part.)

"What floor? What name?" After I told him he said, "Can't find it. Can't let you up."

"Come on, isn't walking by here every day for a year and a half good enough."

"We have rules. We take security very seriously here. Sorry."

"Maybe you're spelling it wrong." It turned out he was.

"Do you want me to let you in upstairs?" he asked as he keyed me up the elevator. Since I wanted to do more than stand in front of a locked door for two hours until everyone else showed up, I told him I did.

On the way up, he said, "So are you some kind of corporate bigwig?"

"Not really."

"I used to be like you. I had it all but I finally had to give it up to get out of the rat race. All that money's not worth it. You make good money, don't you?" (By the way, I have serious doubts about his corporate raider past because he can't be more than twenty years old and he was looking at the floor the whole time to avoid making eye-contact.)

"It pays the bills." Luckily we arrived at my floor before he could grill me any further about my personal finances.

So I've always thought they were strange human beings whom we put up with because they were good at their job. I no longer think that after last week.

The woman at the little store downstairs saw a *well-dressed woman carrying one of the purses for sale out of the store without paying for it. When she caught her at the Tully's across the lobby and found it full of other merchandise she doubted her claim that "she forgot" she was carrying it so she decided to detain her. She yelled for help to the security guard who was talking on the phone ten yards away but who did nothing so she was finally forced to let the thief go when her husband came and wrestled her away with what sounded pretty close to what I would describe as physical force. The security showed up a few minutes later and said he had been too busy earlier but that if it was important she should fill out a report.

*I think she was a klepto who steals for the thrill because her husband seemed very used to dealing with the situation and they could obviously afford to pay for a stupid purse. I wonder if security didn't intervene because they looked like corporate bigwigs.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Quote of the Day: Henry David Thoreau

"The wind has fairly blown me outdoors; the elements were so lively and active, and I so sympathized with them, that I could not sit while the wind went by. And I am reminded that we should especially improve the summer to live out-of-doors. When we may so easily, it behooves us to break up this custom of sitting in the house, for it is but a custom, and I am not sure that it has the sanction of common sense. A man no sooner gets up than he sits down again. Fowls leave their perch in the morning, and beasts their lairs, unless they are such as go abroad only by night. The cockerel does not take up a new perch in the barn, and he is the embodiment of health and common sense. Is the literary man to live always or chiefly sitting in a chamber through which nature enters by a window only? What is the use of the summer?"


I have my doubts that summer is finally here but it is nice to pretend once in a while.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Quote of the Day: Saint-John Perse

"The only menace is inertia."


All right, let's see if I can remember how to do this.

After much insanity, it looks like life is getting back to normal. And by insanity, I mean traveling out town four weeks in a row (unusual for such a routine-loving person like myself), buying a house, and moving all my earthly possessions into it.


Before I fill you in on all that, I want to rant about a 5AM conference call I had this morning. Now, I start work at 6AM so 5 is not that early but due to bus schedules and other factors it does require me to rearrange my morning schedule quite a bit plus it is just unnatural to conduct business when it's still dark out. (This morning was not the best morning for any variations in my routine because I am still trying to set a new routine for the new house - ideally one that involves me not waking up my wife at 3:30 but no luck on that front so far.) We decided to schedule it that early because my main US contact said we had to do so his IT guy in India could join us. I only agreed because their company just bought another company thus making it very likely that they will need our product and he was so insistent about the time.

So I was already in a bad mood when I jumped on my conference line at 5AM because I was stressed out about riding a new bus (What if the other kids make fun of me?) and mad at myself for picking an ugly shirt because the lighting in the new house does not allow me to see the colors in my closet clearly without turning on a light. I really hate my green shirt. I used to think it was cool. Now, I just think it makes me look like an Easter Egg. So anyway, I started out in a bad mood and got an into in an even worse mood when the US contact who would actually use my product never showed up. Yeah, I have a pretty rough life. I'm almost like a pioneer.

I got into a mood as foul as the weather when I realized I was very familiar with with Indian IT guy I was left with. I used to call him a lot at my previous job. All he would ever say, "Is send documentation." I kid you not. It was like talking to a an Indian-accented brick wall. He wouldn't even say Hello or Goodbye. One time he emailed me and said he wanted to talk further and when I got him on the line he just repeated his request for more mythical documentation. It was so frustrating I just stopped calling the account. Well, guess what he said today? "Send documentation." I was ready to kill somebody. It's just unprofessional to set up a call and then blow it off. It's also plain rude.


On a fun note, my boss called me this morning from Vegas today and said, "I just got married. If you guys need anything this week, email me, or leave a voicemail. Cell phone reception is spotty in the hotel." I told him we would probably leave him alone for the week.


On another fun note, the woman I buy my roast turkey sandwiches from told me it was time for me to start having kids.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Quote of the Day: Ernest Hemingway

“Never go on trips with anyone you do not love.”

This blog will only be updated sporadically for the next couple weeks because I have to go on a couple trips and move residences.

I don't really like traveling all that much so I am taking Hemingway's advice and going with someone I love. On my business trip this weekend I will be taking lots of books and next weekend I will be taking my wife - books and Stacey, my two great loves.

Don't feel too bad for me about having to work on the weekend because part of my business trip involves having an Iron chef champion cook a private meal in front of us in sunny Florida.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Quote of the Day: George Bernard Shaw

"There is no love sincerer than the love of food."

Since eating out at good restaurants is one of my favorite sensual pleasures, I am happy to report that, as of today, my dry spell is over. Lately, every time I've tried to go out it seems like the fates have conspired to keep me and happiness from ever being together again. I'm not sure why I was being punished but discovering that my favorite burger place only tastes good in memory, waitresses refusing to serve riff-raf like us at highly-rated places, and not being able to find an ATM anywhere within a one mile radius of Red Mill after remembering it was cash only after waiting in line for ten minutes couldn't all have been coincidence.

Today, I went to a little place called Salumi http://www.salumicuredmeats.com/ only because the authentic Mexican kitchen I wanted to go no longer existed and I was pleasantly surprised. Apparently, it's owned by Mario Batali's parents who cure their own meats. I won't go into details in the interest of keeping this blog PG so let's just say the lamb and roasted red pepper sandwich was better than anything I could have ever dreamed of. I think I'll be full for the next two days.

On a completely opposite note, I figured out that I am now walking four miles every day in the morning before work. Luckily, I've also figured out how to put all that time to productive use by listening to tunes, reading books, and watching TV shows.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Quote of the Day: Henri Bergson

"Think like a man of action and act like a man of thought."


I don't have much to say today so you have to put up with the Reader's Digest Condensed version of my thoughts.


The Seattle PI has a section on their police blotter blog where people can write in with legal questions. http://blog.seattlepi.com/seattle911/archives/198261.asp#extended Check out some of these questions. They are hilariously disturbing. I'm not sure I don't want to know what chain of thoughts led to this question about public nudity. http://blog.seattlepi.com/seattle911/archives/190110.asp?source=mypi Or this this one asking what the definition of a pimp is. http://blog.seattlepi.com/seattle911/archives/184877.asp


After months of whining and complaining, they finally put knives in the kitchen that can actually cut stuff. So now I guess I am okay with being green.


Today at the bus stop, a woman was passing some of the loudest gas I have ever heard in my life so now I know how Iceland felt a few weeks ago when the volcano exploded. She looked like she wanted to die when she realized she was not alone so I tried my best not to laugh out of politeness. I almost succeeded.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Quote of the Day: Walker Percy

"The search is what anyone would undertake if he were not sunk in the everydayness of his own life. To become aware of the possibility of the search is to be onto something. Not to be onto something is to be in despair."


This Saturday, I went to the annual Sasquatch Musis Festival for my very first time. (I tried to go in years past but life kept conspiring to keep me away.) I hadn't been to the Gorge at George in a long time and I learned two shocking facts there. People smoke a lot of pot of concerts and I am almost too old to stand around in the hot sun for thirteen hours no matter how much I like the band. (I'ms kidding. I already knew that, now I just have objective proof thanks to my hamper that now smells like a big joint and the shooting pain in my lower body.) My little brother, on the other hand, seemed to suffer no ill effects from spending all day on the floor in front of the main staged pressed together with a billion other people

I really enjoyed all the shows I saw. I find it really interesting that so many of the performers wore suitcoats with tight jeans. Back in my day they wore T-shirts, flannels, and baggy jeans. Being cool was all about trying not to look cool.

I would have to say The National gave the best performance. They are as commanding a presence on stage as they are in my headphones. My Morning Jacket was a close second even if it felt like it dragged on a little since I was so tired at the end of the day. (I think the best test of a concert is if the performance is so good that it makes you want to go home and sit around listening to that band's whole catalogue in chronological order and both bands easily passed that test.) I am a little sad I missed most of The Hold Steady's set since they were on the same time as The National. I think I made the right choice by skipping Broken Social Scene to see the Posies because no matter how good the little bit of Broken Social Scene I heard sounded, my heart will always belong to early Nineties Seattle Rock.

So, all in all it was a good time. One of my favorite parts was when some random girl standing behind me pointed to the leader singer of a band on stage and yelled, "That's the guy I had sex." Her male companion look less than thrilled with the revelation. I think he was just mostly ashamed that they weren't even a very good band.