Quote of the Day; Edith Wharton

"If only we'd stop trying to be happy we'd have a pretty good time."


This last week of work has convinced me that the "two week notice" concept is hopelessly outdated in the modern corporate world. If I was king of the world I would just walk employees out the door the day they put in their notice. (I certainly wouldn't have stuck around for two weeks if didn't need the insurance for my surgery. My co-workers certainly didn't get two weeks notice when they were laid off.) It just creates a morale problem, especially in sales.

Case in point: me.

Three of us were talking about a process issue when someone said, "Well, so-and-so just needs to understand that because of where we are as a company no one can get everything they want."

"I am. I'm leaving."


I am very excited about the new job I am starting in a few weeks. Almost as excited as I am about the week I will have in between to do nothing but read books and watch movies as I recover from surgery. Counting my new one, I will have had four jobs since college with each one being a little better than the last. I really have no regrets about deciding to make my living on the phone ten years ago, especially after talking to people with professional degrees and piles of debt. I am just lucky I found a career that lines up perfectly with my particular brand of OCD.

Quote of the Day: Isiah

"What mean ye [that] ye beat my people to pieces, and grind the faces of the poor? saith the Lord GOD of hosts."

Well, I stepped on a homeless person today and I feel kind of bad about it. Maybe it's just a justification but I also feel like it it was partly his fault for sleeping perpendicularly across the sidewalk in a dimly lit neighbor.

Although, none of this would have happened if I hadn't been reading while walking. I'm just glad it was only his foot and not his face and that I was able to run fast enough when he started yelling at me.

Quote of the Day: Henri Frédéric Amiel

"The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life, and you must accept regret."





The other day Stacey sent me to the store to buy a bag of Halloween candy for our new primary (Sunday School) class. We figured it might make them like us for at least a few minutes. I am not sure what possessed me but I also bought this:







It is pretty cool because it is motion-activated so every time you get even remotely close it laughs manically and says things like:
"Gotcha! (hahaha)"
"Boo! (laughter)"
"Hey! Whaddya doin'?"
"Tag! You're it! (laughter)"

Late Saturday night we heard a noise that sounded like someone trying to open the front door so we went to investigate. As soon as I put my hand on the door, a deep voice that chilled me to the core of my being asked me what I was doing.

Needless to say, the hand is now banished to the closet.

Quote of the Day: The President at My First Real Job

"Collin is a very smart, talented, and capable employee but he can be also be very challenging to manage."

I came across this sentence when I saw an email I was not supposed to in the middle of a reorganization. Basically what happened is I got bored with the job and I knew I was smarter than the execs. I thought about this statement because the same thing happened with this job only this time I didn't tell my VP and CEO they "didn't know how to run a company" and were "more concerned with concerned with covering their a** than anything else." (Amazingly, when I quit they tried to talk me out of it.) I only told my new director that.

It's funny. When I graduated college with my creative writing degree I had no career ambitions beyond writing the Great American Novel. As long as I had enough money to buy books I was happy. Fast forward seven years later and I have an unpublished but completed novel saved to my hard drive and very ambitious career goals. Personally, I blame women.

Consider this an introduction to a series of posts on careers in post-industrial America.

Quote of the Day: Euripides

"The best and safest thing is to keep a balance in your life, acknowledge the great powers around us and in us. If you can do that, and live that way, you are really a wise man."


Sometimes speaking truth to power is not the wisest move even if you only have a week left.

Quote of the Day: Rex Stout

"No man with any sense assumes that a woman's words mean to her exactly what they mean to him."

It's nice to know the woman downstairs will miss me when I quit. Even though she said she was only worried about moving her Diet Mountain Dew stock off the shelves, I know that talking to me is the highlight of her day. I told her not too worry since I will only be one block away.

She is taking my departure a lot better than some of my co-workers who have decided to take it quite personally*. I am no longer a "team player" so I am not worthy of being spoken to by anyone on the team. Oh well, it's only six more days after today and now I am entering my favorite part of every job - the part where I stop censoring myself. It's been quite fun so far. I can really be a jerk when I want to be, especially when I am right.


*It's no more of a personal decision than them deciding to promise me a promotion and then telling me I can't have it for "structural reasons."

On Vacation until Thursday

On Vacation until Thursday

Quote of the Day: Isak Dinesen

"All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story or tell a story about them."


I finally got my job offer yesterday. And I got another one five minutes ago. I think I am sticking with number one.

I have decided to have surgery on the 4th before my old insurance goes away. Then I will be normal again.

Quote of the Day: Graham Swift

"People die when curiosity goes."


I don't think anyone that knows me well would claim that patience is a virtue I possess in spades. The particular personality flaw of impatience has made me my own worst enemy more than once so I am constantly trying to improve in that area and I thought I was making progress until this week.

I am waiting on job offers from two really great companies and it is killing me. It is all I can think about and there is not a dang thing I can do about it. Obsessively checking my iPhone for any signs of contact can only accomplish so much. I can't wait any longer so hopefully today's the day. It should be because I know they've both checked all my references by now.




Up next: The multiple job offer dilemma that is eerily similar to the one I faced during my last job search. It even includes the very same hiring manager from two years ago. I'm guessing if I turn him down a second time, there won't be a third offer.

Quote of the Day: Leo Tolstoy

"It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness."


Sorry this blog has been so lame lately. I promise I will blog about my job search once I officially get my offer. Right now, I am too busy sitting by the phone like a teenage girl before prom to write anything very interesting.

Quote of the Day: Thomas Carlyle

"I do not believe in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance."

Until I quit hopefully later this week, I am on a new team at work. This team is not like my old team. These guys are very big into pep talks and motivational speeches while I am not, to put it mildly. Today I made a shocking discovery that confirmed, once again, that I need a new job.

I am not sure how into Classic Rock my readers are, but I am assuming you have heard Queen's "We Will Rock You" at a sporting event if nowhere else. Well, that song segways into a funny little number called "We Are the Champions of the World" that I would have sworn could only be taken ironically until today when I found this tacked to bulletin board this morning:

I've paid my dues - Time after time - I've done my sentence But committed no crime - And bad mistakes I've made a few I've had my share of sand kicked in my face - But I've come through We are the champions - my friends And we'll keep on fighting - till the end - We are the champions - We are the champions No time for losers 'Cause we are the champions - of the world - I've taken my bows And my curtain calls - You brought me fame and fortune and everything that goes with it - I thank you all - But it's been no bed of roses No pleasure cruise - I consider it a challenge before the whole human race - And I ain't gonna lose - We are the champions - my friends And we'll keep on fighting - till the end - We are the champions - We are the champions No time for losers 'Cause we are the champions - of the world -

That's right. Somebody I work with can't make it through the day without words of wisdom from this guy.

Quote of the Day: William Sherman

"I would define true courage to be a perfect sensibility of the measure of danger, and a mental willingness to endure it."


I have typically had pretty good health throughout my life which means my experience with medical procedures is minimal. Normally, this is a good thing expect for right now when I have to make a medical decision and don't really know how. The question is: do I get my gallbladder taken out or try to control my gallstones with diet and/or alternative treatments?

After the intense pain shrimp and curry sauce gave me last night, I am leaning towards ripping the sucker out. The problem is: what if I am wrong can never eat fatty foods again? What kind of a life is that? I have been able to control it with diet over the last week but what happens when I want to splurge on a burger at The Skillet? Which by the way I finally ate at a few weeks ago. (The burger was not only delicious it also helped diagnose my gallstone issue.)

I am considering a few things and I am meeting with a surgeon on Thursday and I'm guessing
she is going to recommend surgery since she is a surgeon. I am just skeptical that you can remove an organ from your body with no major repercussions. Am I just being paranoid?

Quote of the Day: Peter F Drucker

"Whenever anything is being accomplished, it is being done, I have learned, by a monomaniac with a mission."


I am beginning to think that coming in today was a foolish mission.

Quote of the Day: Sophocles

"A wise man does not chatter with one whose mind is sick."

I am taking another sick day.

Quote of the Day: Jonathan Franzen

"We may freak out globally, but we suffer locally."


So I am in the middle of dealing with gallstones, a case of mono*, and a job search. And the best part is I can't turn to my two favorite coping mechanisms for dietary reasons: fatty food and Diet Mountain Dew.

Last night made me grateful that I had a wife because I am sure I would not have gone to the ER without being kindly forced into it even after experiencing the worst stomach pain of my entire life.


*
No, I don't know how I got it.

Quote of the Day: Franklin D Roosevelt

"Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds."


Today may be the day I bust out of here.

Quote of the Day: Lily Tomlin

"No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up."


I am taking another sick day.

Quote of the Day: Charlie Chaplin

"Nothing is permanent in this wicked world --- not even our troubles."


Good thing because I haven't been this sick in a long time.

Quote of the Day: Lewis Mumford

"Humor is our way of defending ourselves from life's absurdities by thinking absurdly about them."


Yesterday as I was pulling out of my driveway, I saw a shadowy figure run into the backyard so naturally - since I am the man of the house - I had to investigate. Before I even made it to the gate a man in a red and black coat jumped out in front of me and squared his body at me like a gunfighter about to face off with a rival. He said, "Can I help you?"

"How about can I help you?"

"I'm okay." He had a very bad stutter.

"What are you doing here? This is my house."

"Seattle City Light," he said very slowly as if I was a crazed animal that needed to be soothed. He held up plastic badge attached to a lanyard. "You don't think it's real?"

"All right. I just had to check." By the way, it looked very cheap and fake. "Sorry," I said as I got in my car.

He then came up from behind me as I was shutting the door and said, "No worries. Happens all the time."

He then proceeded to stand there until I got creeped out enough to shut the door and drive off. My last image of him was of him shining a flashlight under my garage door for no apparent reason.

Nothing was stolen so all's well that ends well. Still, kind of weird.