Quote of the Day: TS Eliot Again

"And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker, And in short, I was afraid." I love that line from "The Love Song of Alfred J Prufrock" because it contains all the profundity, evocativeness, and plain old creepiness that make a memorable line of poetry. I'd like to say I remembered this line from my actually reading of the poem but that would be a lie. I actually just heard it on an old episode of Frasier.


This morning, I was the target of one of the most innovative panhandling campaigns I've seen in a long time. I was on my way to work when a woman jumped out from the shadows and started walking along next to me. She must have been part ninja because I didn't see her until she was right next to me. She started telling me jokes and every time I laughed she told me another one. I won't repeat the jokes here because like most jokes they were all about the delivery and don't sound very impressive on paper. You kind of just have to be there, like you just kind of have to hear a comedian's monologue or an Obama speech to get the full gist. I also won't repeat them because most of them are dirty and I'm sure my mother is reading this blog. Suffice it to say, she touched a wide range of topics; anything from turtle erections to lesbians in canoes to the sexual habits of blondes. She did tell one clean joke about a teddy bear being stuffed after eating dinner that wasn't very good. Her jokes really weren't funny but what made it work was the delivery and the pure absurdity of the situation.

So after walking alongside me for a couple blocks and telling maybe ten jokes, she turned to me and said, "My name is Debra. I'm homeless and I want a big breakfast. I don't believe in begging so this is how I get money." I like to reward creativity, so I said, "What the hell? You've earned it," and gave her six bucks. I would have gladly paid twenty dollars for a story this good.

I'm still impressed with her comedic timing and delivery. I wonder if she's come close to practicing the requisite ten thousand hours. I'm sure if Malcolm Gladwell had been walking with me this morning he would have pointed out how she would have been quite successful in showbiz if she'd only been given the right opportunities in life. It's a good thing we are no longer on speaking terms because nobody likes a know-it-all.



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