Quote of the Day: Jon Hammond

"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."


So Stacey and I rescued a young girl from the clutches of an evil gang of n'er-do-wells yesterday. We were our for a walk last night at a park last by our house when we saw a fairly attractive and very physically diminutive young woman trying to extricate herself from an awkward conversation with a man in a wheel chair. She kept saying, "I no understand," as she tried to walk away.

We couldn't tell if her awkwardness had to do with her lack of English or something else so Stacey made us stick around and wait. We finally walked over to her at Stacey's insistence when a gang of four guys popped up out of nowhere and surrounded her. We knew they were trouble because they were in the trouble-causing demographic of 18-24 year old males and they were wearing wife-beater under-shirts and riding BMX bikes.

When we got there we could tell she was scared as they asked her lots of questions like where she lived. I was trying to figure out what combination of words I could speak to rescue the damsel in distress without getting beat up when Stacey blurted out, "Are you okay? Do you want to come with us?" I guess I looked respectable in my business-casual attire and Stacey was obviously a girl so she jumped at the chance. She said yes and ran towards us so we walked her out of the park and home to her house. All the guys did was look at us as we walked away. It was like I was a superhero.

We learned that she was an exchange student from Spain and didn't like that the bar age in the states was 21 not 18 like it is back home. We told her to be careful here and she said she would never go out alone again. I told her it was all right to go out by herself as long as she never stopped for anyone. In America, we can't afford to be charitable even to cripples. (By the way, using the wheelchair guy as bait was genius.)

Anyway, I feel pretty good about myself.