"As I grow older, I regret to say that a detestable habit of thinking seems to be getting a hold of me."
So I think my neighbor may be a drug dealer which means I've either watched too many cop shows or I'm a racist. Although, I guess both possibilities could be true. There are several clues that make me think he is a pharmaceutical entrepreneur. I see him at home at all hours of the day so there is no way he has a regular job (I work weird hours so that explains why I am at weird times. He has also been there on my days off. ), he wears nothing but velour track suits and wife-beaters, he has been high on several occasions, sometimes the balcony smells like marijuana, and he drives a very tricked-out late model Cadillac with windows tinted so dark they may be illegal. Oh yes, he is also of a race, age, gender, and demography that is stereotypically and sociologically likely to be involved in such crimes. That's why I feel bad for thinking it but I have seen too many episodes of "The Wire" not to think it. I know how the world works. I guess I could just mind my own business but he keeps telling me we need to hang out so that may not be an option soon. Maybe we can go clubbing. He seems like a nice enough guy. At the very least, I'll get a good story out of it.
I also think I am going to get Mercury poisoning from all the fish I eat; but oh well, I figure the other health benefits are worth the risk. Maybe it will turn me into a super-hero or something.
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