Quote of the Day: Mark Twain

“It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.”


One of the most awkward experiences in corporate America is being stuck in a confined space with one of the higher-ups. (I define higher-up as someone you rarely interact with; but who, nonetheless, has an inordinate amount of influence over your personal livelihood.) These moments are tough but they get even tougher sometimes when we try to dispel the silence we distrust so much with pointless words. Humor seems to be the most common arrow we attempt to slay this particular beast with. Please enjoy these examples from my week.


My very liberal co-worker was riding the elevator with our very outspokenly conservative VP, when he said, "Good morning, comrade."
"Hey, I'm not a communist. We don't need this socialist crap here."
"Okay. Just a joke."
"Well, I'm not a communist."

Most of my team was riding the elevator with the COO when my boss decided it would be funny to say, "Get Him, boys," behind his back.
When the only response he got was a blank stare, he said, "Boy, that was a lot funnier in my head."
"I imagine," he said on his way out as he gave my boss a punch to the gut that couldn't exactly be called "playful."

I do know one sales rep. who seems to have mastered the art of breaking the tension with a well placed quip. When this employee and one of his VP's both walked into the bathroom at the same time and headed for the same wall of urinals, he took the shorter one since his boss is about a foot taller and said, "You notice how I let you have the taller one? I want it marked down to my credit that I showed you the proper deference that you are due as my leader." He laughed and there was much rejoicing. Can you guess that employee's name?