Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Quote of the Day: Werner Herzog

"I have never been one of those who cares about happiness. Happiness is a strange notion. I am just not made for it. It has never been a goal of mine; I do not think in those terms." I guess this is the kind of quote we can expect from a man who ate an actual hat in public.


Today, I learned what Hell is. It's being stuck in an Irish pub while a soccer game is on. A couple times I thought we were going to have a full-on brawl because two groups of people were rooting very excitedly and loudly for two different colors of fabric. I wasn't too worried for my own safety because there were real battle axes nailed the wall I was sitting next to. Believe me, I was loaded for bar if it ever came to that.



Here's another email exchange in our continuing series "Crazy Stuff Collin Says to Prospects:"

Me:
This part is a standard business email so I am redaction in the interest of not being boring.) When can we talk?

Prospect:
Dear Collin:
Unfortunately we do not presently need any assistance in that area. All the best


Collin:
All right. Thanks for getting back to me.

I understand you can’t use us right now but I think you should still keep my information anyway. You know the Steely Dan song “Rikki, Don’t Lose That Number?” I think that song may be applicable to you when the outbound dialing project that Customer Service is looking at comes to fruition. I have attached a few documents.

Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

Thanks,
Collin

In other good news, my insurance company finally agreed to waive their fat people fee so I don't have to pay for $600 for my own blood test. All it took was our benefits company strong-arming the doctor's billing women until she agreed to resubmit my paperwork with the right diagnosis code. She is very unhappy with me but I don't care because $600 can buy a lot of friends, ones that aren't so scared to admit when they're wrong.



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