Quote of the Day: Marcel Proust

"Happiness is beneficial for the body but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind." Well Proust certainly believed that depression fuels creativity. You may remember that a paraphrasing of this quote played a fairly prominent role in the movie "Little Miss Sunshine." I'm thinking about the impetus behind creativity this morning because I had a conversation about it last night. I have plenty of thoughts on the subject but I really don't feel like sharing them today because I took the day off from work so I could enjoy the sunshine and catch up on my fiction. Instead, I thought I would share a story about what happened the time I tried to read a magazine article in the Atlantic Monthly about Abe Lincoln and his depression; who, by the way dealt with pretty severe depression all his life. He even contemplated suicide on a not infrequent basis.

So a few years ago, I flew down to Denver for my friend's wedding. I missed my flight home because the cashier at the BP gas station told me to go north instead of south. I began to suspect I was on the wrong path in life when I came across a sign that told me Buffalo Bill's grave and the state Utah were up ahead.

My flight was leaving when I pulled up to the airport so they told me I had to fly standby on the next flight. As I was wandering around killing time, I bought an issue of the magazine The Atlantic Monthly that looked quite interesting because of the Lincoln article and one on experimental fiction. There was room on the next flight so I didn't get a chance to read any of it in the airport.

On the plane, they gave me a middle seat which was very uncomfortable because I am pretty big guy; physically, mentally, and spiritually. Just when I beginning to get hopeful that the passenger on my left side was not going to show up, he did. He was a big guy too, but he was big in a muscle-bound no-neck kind of guy. He was wearing a tank-top, tiny shorts, and smelled like he just came from the gym. Oh yeah, and he was also incredibly hairy. Needless to say, I knew this guy and I were not going to strike up a life long friendship.

The first thing he said was that I was way too big for the middle. I agreed but told him since I was on standby there was nothing we could do. He decided that one thing he could do was repeat that phrase over and over until everyone was looking at us and whispering. My favorite part was when he said, "I'm not trying to be rude or anything but you're just too big." Why would I think that was rude?

When I finally went to open my magazine which I'd been dying to do for hours, he said, "This is criminal putting you here next to me."

Finally, a flight attendant came up to me and whispered, "We can move you if it won't make things too awkward."

"Oh, I think we're way past the awkward stage, don't you?" I said.

She came back five minutes later and said that somebody agreed to trade seats with me. When I got to my new seat I heard her tell the person I would be sitting by, "Here's the special passenger."

Now I should go back to the beginning and mention that as we were boarding, I saw a very attractive woman ahead of my in the line. I remember thinking she was exactly my type and if there was any justice in the world I would end up sitting by her. (I'm not sure what I thought would happen. It's not like I was going to hit on a complete stranger. Like most of us, I am much more heroic in my dreams mind than in real life.) So anyway, guess who my new seatmate was? That's right, the hot chick.

This should have been good news but since I had been referred to as a "special passenger" she was apparently under the impression that I was mentally-handicapped. She talked to me in that condescending voice that stupid people use to communicate with dogs, kids, and foreigners. She said things like: "Now let me know if you need to get up and use the bathroom." "You're brave for flying all by yourself." "Do you need a drink of water." "You're not getting hungry, are you?" That was pretty much the longest two hours of my life. On the plus side, I really was able to empathize with good old Abe.

The article was quite intriguing though. I may even talk about it later this week.