Quote of the Day: W. Somerset Maugham

"She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit." I really hope that doesn't describe my blog but sometimes I wonder.


Man, I've been slammed this week. I spent all morning in a company meeting where I learned that the water set on conference tables in hotels are only for decoration, at least according to my manager anyway. Maybe I should have listened to him because drinking it did present me with with an interesting dilemma. Do I dishonor myself and my family for generations to come by walking out when the EVP of Sales (My boss's boss's boss) is speaking or do I dishonor myself by urinating on myself in front of him? This was not the easy choice it may appear now because my table was right in front of his nose and my manager had been exhorting us all day about looking like we were paying attention. Apparently, some people on my team like to sleep or daydream or play with their iPhone during meetings. Needless to say, I chose dishonor this morning.

Something else weird happened this morning. During one of the presentations, the guy at the table next to me leaned back as far as he could and started doing what I can only describe as some kind of whirling-dervish yoga meditation exercise that required him to wobble his head to and fro until he hit me in the head with it. The most disturbing part was that after his head collided into mine he just left it there. My head being used as a pillow made me feel so dirty that I didn't know how to react. I was so uncomfortable that after a few seconds I actually moved my chair up to my own table and stopped leaning back like a slob.

The really sad part is that was the most cuddling I've had in months.